put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
