So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
