So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
