Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
do nipples grow back?
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