No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
