The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize