Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
