her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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