You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize