As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
