Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
