just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
