Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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