handjob tips. give me some.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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