I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
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He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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