so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
