And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
