i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
