How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
