xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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