Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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