The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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