Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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