I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
