Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we're making bets on your personal life
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
