dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
