sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
