I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
