I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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