i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
