I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
