i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
