So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
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When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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