I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
