I want to make a zoo with you.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
