Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
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We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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