The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
