but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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