I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
