Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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