loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize