So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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