i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
BRING THE BAGELS
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
