the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
