You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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