weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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