how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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