he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
