it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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