I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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