he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
