So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
