This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
