What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
