There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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