Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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