but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
