dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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