I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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