At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
