after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My life is pants optional.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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