You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
