Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize