you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Shame - the story of my life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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