But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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