lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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